Japanese Potties

I can't believe I have let so much time go by without brightening your lives and your minds with another exotic tale... or tail, as the case may be. My sister, Adrian, is back in Japan, which has become a second home for her. She spends many months out of the year working there, and has grown to really love it. I spent a month in Japan a few years ago, and I also loved it. She sent this picture today, which reminded me of a priceless experience I had one evening in Osaka.

Toilet Control Panel

There are some really great things about Japanese rest rooms: some have a "privacy flush" which plays a recorded flushing sound so one might cover the sound of one's own tinkle, but conserve water at the same time (great for those who get stage fright in public rest rooms). They also have heated seats to avoid "frozen buns," and of course there is the bidet. Many, many toilets come with a full control panel like the one seen above. This is obviously a "bi" toilet as it is labelled in both english and kanji. My experience happened at the home of the Ito family where I was staying with my friend Kelly. I had excused myself to go to the restroom, something I have been fairly adept at doing on my own for roughly 28 years. Well, I found myself in a veritable captain's chair of a throne, with arm rests on either side and what looked like hundreds of buttons-- all in Japanese kanji. It did have what I assumed were helpful illustrations, but when I was ready to depart, I found myself in a bind. I hit what I thought was the flush button. This was, apparently, the "spritzer" button. I could adjust for temperature and intensity, but could not turn it off. I couldn't stand up, or it began to spray a fountain of water into the air. I desperately began pushing buttons trying to turn the rotating stream of water off so that I could at least stand up without spraying down the whole bathroom. The toilet went through all sorts of fancy maneuvers, heating and cooling, vibrating, playing music, making privacy flush sounds, baking bread.... But the stream of cleansing liquid would not turn off. I then did the logical thing... I got hysterical--laughing, that is. Japanese bathroom, pants around my ankles, very clean tushy hysterical. This caused Kelly to come to the door to see what in the world was going on, she having heard dozens of flushing sounds but had yet to see me emerge. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, I had apparently used the whole water supply of the city of Osaka and the Toilet of Doom finally went into hibernation. It was a memorable experience, to say the least. I have never felt so, well, clean. Some days, I find myself missing my Japanese Captains Chair. Like those early mornings in a nameless campground somewhere where the ice cold seat leads to nothing but a bottomless pit... Then I wish for a fancy seat. Butt for the most part, I find myself content with a plain old porcelain potty.
I was relieved (ha ha) to find this little story, proving that I am NOT the only one who had a cleansing encounter in Japan.

The Hansens

Saturday marked the marriage of my youngest sister, Katie, to Elliott Hansen. It was a beautiful day, beautiful wedding, and end of a chaotic couple of days, weeks, months... It also marked the official beginning of my old-maidhood as my last single (and younger) sister was married off. I am celebrating by sitting at home eating leftover wedding cake and watching ski jumping. But it was a lovely day, and here are a couple of little snapshots so that you can feel like you were there:
Placing the Veil This is Katie getting her veil on before the ceremony in the very small, crowded dressing room at Log Haven in Mill Creek Canyon.
After the Ceremony This is is front of Log Haven... please note Katie's fabulous and dainty footwear. After this, the entire wedding party tramped through the 3 inches of snow that fell during the ceremony to the frozen waterfall across the street for pictures. It was freezing, but I bet they are beautiful.

Congratulations, Katie and Elliott!

Last Call: Wedding Date Needed

Some of you may have read my previous call for a date to my sister's wedding. I am, finding myself somewhere in the vicinity of the 11th Hour, now willing to make a few concessions:

1- You do not have to be gay, although the non-commitment clause is still in effect

2- You do not, although it is a great plus to look like him, HAVE TO be Cary Grant. Any tall, dark, hansome gentleman will do (touch of grey hair a plus)

3- You do not, at this point, even have to be male, as long as you don't (a) expect a goodnight kiss and (b) are terribly charming and witty and won't wear the same dress as me

4- You do, however, have to have an understanding of overly emotional daughters who plan on weeping to excess at the marriage of one of their own, sans Mother... i.e., should have extra hankies in your pocket and a proverbial (if not literal) shoulder to cry on accessible during all festivities. Joining in is also allowed.

I know, small, simple requirements. How is it that no one has shown up? I can even provide the Great White Steed, if need be; suit of armour remains optional.

Self Portrait: Hair

My Hair
One can see the single streak of darker color added a few days ago. The rest is mine. All mine.

An actual quote...

This is an actual quote that escaped my lips. Granted, there were some (slightly) extenuating circumstances:

"I am too out of breath from going up the stairs to eat my doughnut."

Finally Home From Tour

Leland, Nathan, and Malcolm Backstage

Well, due to a wifi issue at a Holiday Inn, my last post has apparently disappeared. Too bad. I am sure it was witty, yet informative. So here I am to do a quick recap of the rest of tour-- I can hear your letting out your collective breath(s).

So, Billings was successful, then we travelled to Sheridan?, WY, by way of The Little Bighorn Battlefield. That was a suprisingly emotional experience. First of all, there was the fact that I was there with some of my dear, amazing Native American friends. The next part was the heartfelt and passionate narrative by "Ranger Rick" whose real name I don't know. He rode in the bus with us through the very barren landscape and told us the story of the battle that took place there. He was unbiased, knowledgeable, and amazingly dynamic. He used quotes, personal accounts, and told a very moving story of a great tragedy (for both sides) in our American History. We were all suprisingly and profoundly touched by the spirits of ancestors who were there.
Some Graves at Little Bighorn Battlefield

We then entered the final days on tour where everything blends together... Where was I? Where was I going? Not sure... so here are some representative photos of the last few days:
Some of the Tech Crew after a Fireside
Little Pumpkin watching the Hoop Dance at an assemblyDreamy Living Legends boys on "Nerd Day"
Tau, Janielle, and Brigham
Nathan
Me and My "Boyfriend" Woody looking super hot
Leland and I with the Living Legends brick I painted at the Kelly Walsh in Casper, WY

So, as you can see, I was with an amazing and beautiful group of people. I was the ugly white girl in the photos, in case that was unclear. We had an amazing time, ate LOTS of sandwiches, and laughed a lot. I loved it.

Cody, WY and Billings, MT

Yesterday:
We had a great time at the Buffalo Bill Museum this morning.
Leland and I and a happy Native family
Some of the crew at our TeePee
Buffalo Bill's Saddle
Yes, I get excited about strange things.


We then drove to Lovell and set up for a show in the gymnasium. I do love the challenge of transforming a basketball court into a theatre, and it never ceases to amaze me the miracles that can be created with a marley floor, hand-cranked towers, and some good old pipe-and-drape. It was a great crowd, and I love sitting in the front row which is where the tech table usually ends up when its a gym show. The best part, however, was that sitting behind me tonight were my sister Adrian, dearest friend David, and sweet Jared Young.
Tim (on the phone), Adrian, Me, and Surrogate Mom Janielle
They are all touring with 42nd Street and had a stopover in Billings tonight. They got in this afternoon, rented a car, and drove to Lovell to see us. I hadn't seen Adrian in a month, and David even longer, and it made me grin from ear to ear. Tim and I then drove with them back to Billings where we have our show tomorrow. I now find myself sitting in the Super 8 laundry room, doing a week's worth of laundry. Did I mention that it is 3:30 AM? Tim, you owe me big time.

Today:
Here at the lovely Sheraton in downtown Billings, train whistle blowing, waiting for my calzone to be delivered. A good day, all things considered. I slept until 10! Decadent. Then Tim and I drove around downtown Billings searching for the car rental place. We then went to the Alberta Bair Theatre, which is a great venue, and the one where 42nd Street will be in April. There were gale-force winds in the alley where we were unloading the truck. It resulted in multiple heavy cases blowing off the truck and Fijian leis flying through the air in every direction. In the end, we got everything inside. It was a beautiful show with the full light plot, which rarely happens on tour. We actually got to eat dinner today, too, the first time in days. The show was sold out and very well received. We had a great, fast load-out and the crew liked us, which is, I consider, the greatest compliment of all.